An attempt to get wasted

I turned 20 yesterday, ’twas was the craziest birthday so far. This seems like a safe place to capture the memory forever before it fades away.

I was certain that I wanted to get super drunk and do shit I can’t be held liable for. I had a single objective in mind- to get wasted. Given my zero alchohol system, it wasn’t a tough job to get me drunk. Two vodka shots and a neat whiskey and voila. But sobering me up before shipping me to my house was the herculean task – for my friends. I remember being made to suck lemons and being sprinkled water on, to bring me back to senses. I hazily remember being slapped (or atleast being threatened to get slapped) by one of my friends, when everything else was failing. I remember perversely smiling at guys and saying, “Hi! It’s my birthday today.” I remember saying I want to kiss that guy and being pulled back by my friends. I remember being met by strange looks from everyone, well, I earned it. I remember two strangers trying to help my friends, asking em’ to get me a lemonade and I remember what I said to those two – “Thank you, you rock!” I remember perching on the roadside and harshly singing, “Oh I wanna dance with somebody, I just wanna feel the heat with somebody” . I remember those three charming guys following us, the same ones I saucily smiled at. Note to self: This trick works, if I want to get a guy to follow me. I remember trying to free myself from my friends, cause I wanted to run back to one of those guys and kiss him. God knows what would have happened to me, if it weren’t for my friends. I remember those nearly failed attempts to make my mom believe I’m not drunk, every time she called. I remember safely making it home, getting off scot-free. Even in that stupor, I remember writing an article about the corporate tax cuts being put off in Britain by Boris Johnson’s party. I remember overthinking myself to sleep, wondering how this was one heck of a day.

If a straightener can’t fix my hair, nothing can

They say, “The truth is in the wine.” Maybe there’s a part of me that wants to get drunk, dance her ass off on the streets and kiss strangers. It’s hard disguising myself as this epitome of goodness and sobriety sometimes. But you know, C’est la vie!

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